Monday, January 16, 2006

after sooo long..

I just don't know where to start.
SO very sorry to those few who actually read this blog, but I've been pretty busy lately. Started on the kindy teacher job full day but teaching primary students..right now, I'm halfway through. Suffice to say that I have NEVER counted the time This close before. I find myself counting the seconds, scrutinising each movement of the clock's hand, wishing it would move faster than it is, and ever will be. Rejoicing in each passing day, dreading the coming hour and how the addition of another sunrise will bring me closer to the supposed end.
I sound like such a pessimist.
And I'm supposed to be a teacher.
sorry but I can't help it. Some of the children there are seriously getting on my nerves. People who knows me can safely attest that VERY few people can actually manage to get on my nerves. How ironic that they aren't even half people, YET.

Even the teacher who started the same time as moi resigned last week.
The only thing that gets me through the day is seeing the faces of the rest of the children whose faces light up when they see you. Those sweet ones who hug and refuse to let go. Those cheeky smiles that make you smile even when you're trying your hardest not to.
Wrap that up with a Big Overwhelming sense of responsibility.

I don't wanna be one of those teachers who just don't care.
I wanna be the one who touch lives, who teach out of love, not merely out of duty.
I wanna be the one who love unconditionally.
I wanna be the one they remember.
Am I good enough ?
I have no answer to that.

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