Wednesday, October 21, 2009

And his fleece was white as snow

Bored to tears so I changed to white on a whim.

So bright and cheery no?

*grins

Let's see how long this one will last.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Maidens and Monsters

Very the long never the write the England oredi.
Suddenly feel the England very the fun!




Swirling, swoosh!

Flying thoughts, waving faintly back.

Swing and twirl, dropping

slow onto The feet.



Ah Words, glorious words.

Crisp morning, the smell of books!

Transport me to faraway lands of magic.

Of maidens and monsters, dwarfs and donkeys.



Eh wait. That's a horse.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Somwhere over the rainbow

Somewhere along the line I forgot that the only thing that matters really, is that I've done all I could and did my best.


Somewhere along the way, I forget that I'm human like everyone else-that I err; that I'm not perfect.

I forgot that it's perfectly okay to be imperfect.


Somewhere along the road I forgot that to be a friend, I have to be a friend-and that nothing beats a cup of good tea (or several for that matter).


Somewhere whilst chasing the rainbow that seems lethally breathtaking,

I forgot to smell the roses by the side of the road and soak in everything; its bittersweet smell, its thorns, its beauty.



And somewhere along now, I remembered.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Faces

I think it's hilarious that people can see my face and assume that I'm stressed.
Especially when I'm not, at that moment.


I know stress, and I try to avoid it;

But it's difficult when you have it spelled out to you so often.


If I'm stressed and I want you to know about it, I would tell you.

If not, I'm perfectly fine, no worries.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

The mileage has gone over the roof

PMS- ing like giler. But the timing's off what.

Why the tears won't stop flowing then?

Like so crazy one..Beh tahan.


I think it's the cleansing, servicing time.

But enough already!

Cis.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

I need some endorphins

I'm never one to wear my heart on me sleeves, me think.

Suck it in, why bother others with some burden of yours that will not aid in any way in what they coping with right now? For all you know, they might be barely surviving themselves.
So I just suck it in and cope, using all the mechanisms available.
Sleep,
relax,
a walk,
inspiration.

It's not working that well anymore.

I'm thinking that I should change my ways.
It's been a pretty rough few weeks; so caught up in so many emotions - sometimes finding it hard to find back the happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care me.
So much so that I feel that I've inadvertently pushed those closest to me away.

I wonder is it because I'm bottling everything up?
Would it be better to just spill whatever I'm feeling at that precise moment?

Anger, to react in anger,
Sadness, to show that emotion in all its glory.

But that's rarely me.
Good thing or a bad thing? I know shit.

....

Sadness.
That's where we diverge.


Different thoughts, expectations.


To go through each minute of the day with the thought of that hour plus moment in the not-to-distant;
A light that somehow help me find a way to survive suckiness, unhappiness, stress.
With the thought of that moment.
That closeness.


But when the time comes, just so much sadness.
To have it dissipate into nothingness.


It just breaks my heart to pieces.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

2:25 a.m

What a week, what a week.

Please give me strength.
And serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

And the courage to change the things I can.


It's Friday.
Thank GOD.

What a week. *shakes head*
*Deep breath

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Water

The lesson I guess,

is humility.

Just got that while showering, lol.


I think I'll survive.

Oh wow.

Blardy hell.
This has got to be the most stress-inducing semester ever.

Oh.my.god.

Never have I felt this helpless with the workload. It's so bad that the crazy notion entered my head, no matter how hard I try to push it way;
I felt shortchanged.
Felt like I always have to work doubly hard compared to everyone else in everything.

Which is nonsense really, because who am I do compare?
Who's to say whose burden is heavier than another?

Believe me, I can write a whole long list of discontentment if I'd want to but I know that wallowing in self pity is not the way to go.

As much as I want to believe that everything happens for a reason, sometimes I just want to curl up and go to sleep.
And forget about everything.

But I can't. And I know that I won't because I'm stronger than that.
The nonsensical part is that I know it, but I just don't feel it.
Which sucks a lot.


Tired.
I'm just very tired.