greetings from up north!

aloha..!

It's the second day of CNY and here I am all puffed up. My jeans are so tight that I wonder why didn't I get them at a larger size.
Just had Swatow Lane's famous ice-cream ice kacang and muar chee. This afternoon had a nyonya lunch of rice and about 8-9 dishes of super-delicious food prepared by my aunt who opened a restaurant back in Damansara. Kena bombed again for ironically not visiting them when my family and I stay so nearby in Klang the whole of last year but only manage to go visit them in Penang. This morning leh, had half boiled eggs with buttered toast, chee cheong fun with 'he ko' and porridge.
Now, if I don't put on weight, I ain't normal.
Talking bout that, allow me this tiny opportunity to whine k? One of my aunt said I put on weight liao!
Oh, never mind.
Eat first, talk later; eh?
Probably will be going to Batu Ferringhi later. I miss the beach!

til then!

Balik Kampoong..OoOoo Balik Kampoong...

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside the door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
This early morn
The car's waitin'
My bro's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could cry
Chorus:
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leaving in a family car
Don't know when I'll be back again..(though I do)
Oh smelly pillow I hate to go..

It's Balik Kampung time...! Leaving tomorrrow and yours truly will be back the following Saturday..Try not to miss me k?
This Chinese New Year has been approaching too fast. I haven't had enough of the pre-CNY mood yet! Probably due to work and everything..Even shopping was pretty much touch-n-go.
Talking bout work, I received my first pay today!
The principal's hubby passed it to me in a cellotaped envelope with my name written on it.
"I heard today's your last day or something?"
My heart skipped a beat, thinking to myself "Is it?"
Oh I heard singing.
Then when I went to see the principal, to reconfirm ;
"NoOOOOoo..No,No,No..! Youll be coming back after CNY right? "
Shucks.

My first pay is almost all gone. And I thought I wanna save most of it..looks like I won't!
Gave my parents RM400, belanja'ed my family dinner 60 plus bucks...Langkawi thingy RM210..and I can bet you the balance 200 will fly away soon enuff.
For one whole month of hard work. And of whining.
Oh yeah. Got 2 drawings from 2 of 'em too. One is of me in a fairy get-up. The other's a drawing of a family i guess. Cute stuff.

Anyways...1 whole week of enjoyment and makan..not to mention gambling lie ahead.
When I get back, let's have another round of makan shall we?
til we meet again, here's to a brand new lunar new year of love and prosperity...may all our hopes and wishes of the heart come true.

Gong Xi Fa Cai !

*sniff

I miss my grandmama's house in Port Klang.
The house my mom, aunts n uncs grew up in.
My aunts used to live there but they shifted out to Bukit Jalil around the end of 2005 and I missed the whole shifting out because of darn STPM.
I didn't get to see the house as it was for decades before all the furniture was removed or disposed of.
I didn't get to lie down on the smooth red cement floor that was polished by years of use one last time.
I didn't get to bathe in the toilet where the tangki to store water was as big as a jacuzzi (where when we were little , we would jump inside and bathe there instead) and where in the middle of the floor is a patch of uneven little stones set in cement used out of convenience to scrub the soles of your feet.
I didn't get to check whether there were actually any rats underneath the bedroom papan flooring that was set so high(virtually 3 steps high) though I suspect there werent' any.
I miss playing hide and seek there, watching saturday afternoon cartoons on TV3 and burying treasures in the flower pots. I missed having overnights there bacause that was the only time my bro and I could stay up WAY late watching tv and wake up WAY late in the morning in time for lunch.
I even miss the old washing machine that used to scare the hell out of me because it would suddenly make funny noises. Loud noises.
But it's bare now.
Only memories left behind.

I gotta go back there sometimes.

I dunno what happened to me ady! I keep stuffing myself silly though I'm already full. Can't resist supper then wake up the next day feeling guilty and resolving to control and yet, you guessed it? stuffed myself again.

My dad knows psychology. He uses it sublimely and extremely well.
Today, after dinner I was complaining that I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Know what he said?
'Don't want to work tomorrow ar? Nvmlo..no need to go, I'll call her up tomorrow..'
Know what I said?
'Nevermind la..I'll go.'

How stoooopid can I be?

what would you do?

Let's sum up my day in a series of questions :
What would you do if :

a) your dad had a talk with you in the morning saying that they(as in your parents) respect your decision to quit but if you have nothing important in february, to go ahead and suffer til you have something important then only resign immediately?

b) there's a boy you're supposed to teach and give work to, throws his book at you and decides to run a round and bully other children by hitting them and punching them?

c) this aforementioned boy decides to grab at other younger children's things, absolutely refusing to give it back while the owner cries and screams on top of his lungs, lunging at the boy, thus having two shouting kids chasing each other around tables with sharp corners?

d) the boy and a girl (who is as mischievous) decides to fight each other by pushing the tables and chairs to the ground?

e) the standard one children that you're teaching runs around with rulers and scissors causing one of them to kena scratched on the shoulders?

f) one standard one child who doesn't know how to wash up after doing business?

g) you totally understand that they don't want to do any work since they are like, what? barely reaching 10 and primary kids are supposed to enjoy life and have fun?( The standard 3s have like 10 over books of homework to complete each day!) but you have to, because you're paid to give work and to teach? You are judged by their completed work.

h) after all that, you know that there are people worse off than you and you feel bad for feeling shitty like you're feeling and knowing that you'll face the same thing or even worse the next day, and the next? And the next?

i) you feel absolutely like a phoney because padawan's parents tells you that you are a good girl for thinking of earning money when you could just enjoy and not do anything?

*sigh*

On a lighter note, most of you might have realised that I could be *ahem a little bit cocky at times and I sincerely apologize if this trait of mine might just have irritated you somewhat at any times, but maybe you wonder where I inherited this from. Well, it's genetic, courtesy of my beloved ( I really do love him!) dad.
The conversation this evening went something like this :

My gums were aching since yesterday, I guess my wisdom tooth is growing so my dad went to buy some medicine..
Dad : "Nah, drink this medicine, to cool down your body so that your gums won't ache." while handing me a cup of the blackest drink.

Me : "Why so black one?" but drank it anyway.

Dad : " I bought this too..the man say very good for toothache and sore throat" some kind of powdery watermelon essence in a bottle kept in a dubious box.

Mom : "What medicine is that? Chinese medicine don't simply give la!"

Dad : "NOOoo! It's an English medicine.........only thing the instructions and labels are in Chinese."
I almost spit out my drink.
My dad and I looked at each other and laughed.

Mom : ".......!!"

Figures.

Amy's Day Out

It's Sunday! No work and thus a day to go out!
Sunday's never a day of rest in my house.

We, as in my mom, 2 aunts and I, went to Ikea's to buy some stuffs..Saw many 'ang mohs' but most also with spouses. *Sigh.. Then, skipped over to The Curve for lunch at The Marche.
It was my first time there after hearing so much about it and it wasn't exactly what I expected but the food's good all the same. Quite reasonable too if you're selective over what you eat la of course...
Nice ambience and great concept.
After that went over to Ikano's to jalan-jalan for a while and to buy Strudels then back to Ikea's for their 1 buck ice-cream (yummy) and currypuffs.
Seeing that it was kind of early ( about 2 pm) , we diverted to Sunway Pyramid. My aunt was just supposed to drop my mom and me to go collect her ordered slippers but decided to what-the-heck parked the car instead. So down all of us went to go collect AND buy more stuffs.
It was kinda packed and everyone was at least carrying 1 or 2 big shopping bags...Chinese ppl really shop til they drop when New Year's around... Generous in that sense.
Went back to Aunt's for cakes for afters..
Fat ady lo!
Came home, rested for a while and then went to Klang Parade.
My dad wanted to go see some oldies performance as stated in the schedule but got Daniel Lee instead.
Yep, THAT Daniel Lee, the Malaysian Idol fella.
Bulu roma meremang hearing the girls in pink screaming their lungs out. And it's true, his fans transcends the ages...From really young toddlers to made-up older ladies.
My mom's comment : He's really fair.
My Dad's : Not bad la..
Mine : ... Better than I thought. He's better than an amateur la, that's a fact. He looks exactly like the poster. Like, ah Duh!

SO, I went to a total of 5 shoping complexes in a day.
Let's do that again !

Argh.

It's official.
I'm the "good" teacher, the "friendly" one, the "nice" one, the one who'll threaten but not punish, the one whose head they can climb all over.
My body has their footprints.
They saw my blue pencil lead and want 'em; got nicked into buying some just now.
Complain that their bags are too heavy for them to carry up the stairs, yours truly will drag them up instead.
I have to resort to using other teachers' names to get them to listen.

I seriously need to be more evil.

How was today you ask? (or might not ask but no matter)
2 kids cried this morning thanks to the bullying ways of another.
Another 2 this afternoon after some fight.
One boy ran around the class half naked causing the girls to scream on top of their lungs.
Did you know?
The private human anatomies have initials now.
KKB and NNP.
How ingenious.
Kids.
*Sigh.
By the way, another new teacher went MIA after erm..3 days?
I suddenly feel so proud. NOT.

Another day tomorrow.
Help. Please?

An O.K Day

Morning was quite chaotic, a boy showed temper and refused to co-operate. I let him sit at a corner by himself until he cooled down, after which I took an opportunity to talk to him nicely, asking him why he was behaving the way he was, bullying the younger kids and taking their stuffs just for to make them scream and squeal.
Afterwards, managed to coax him into doing some reading but he was back to his old ways before long.
Verdict : Work not done but managed to have a decent conversation without him shouting in my ear.

Computer lessons went O.K, they were quite excited to see a virtual cat on the screen. Some still couldn't get the hang of using the mouse though.

Afternoon class was a bit taxing but considerably better than other days. Finally got the standard ones, though not all; to complete writing their ABC's up to D.
For one page of work, had to endure them running around,chasing each other with sharp rulers, hiding under tables and covering themselves with stacked up steel chairs of which one of them climbed up to sit, giving me the shock of my life. As usual, about 2 of them cried after hitting each other, some hid themselves in the toilet refusing to come out.
2 boys grabbed hold of my leg refusing to let go and I perfected the art of listening to 3 children all at once, scrambling for attention.
All that in half an hour.
And the class weren't even full today.

Standard 3's were okay..still had to repeatedly called them to take their bath. Looks like the trend of 'pen war' is still alive and well; only thing now they use pencil lead cases. At least they played after they finished their homework. Or at least the Said they had.

What will tomorrow bring?
Can't wait.

What should i do leh?

Okay, the plan was this : to suck it all in and stick with it til the end of this month and then cabut.
Talked to the principal this morning and she wants me to stay on.
"But I'll be gone for a whole week in Feb! It won't be fair to you and the other teachers.."
"It's over the weekend; Nevermind, you can take off"
"I won't be here for the training too (of which 2 days pay would be cut if you don't attend)"
"...I was thinking of postponing to some other day"
"I'll be busy with the University applications too"
"You prob won't need the whole day for that right?"

and the conversation continued.
By the end of it I was feeling so guilty for leaving them hanging and so wanting to leave a good name that I find myself saying,
"I'll discuss with my parents and let you know as soon as possible.."

My parents, who have been on the receiving end of my relentless complaining, as usual, said that I should stay on..upon the fact that I should learn to take a little hardship..the world out there could be worse, it seems.
And the fact that I could learn and gain loads from this experience.
Hmm..
So.what should I do then?
I think I'll just sleep on it.

after sooo long..

Man.
I just don't know where to start.
SO very sorry to those few who actually read this blog, but I've been pretty busy lately. Started on the kindy teacher job full day but teaching primary students..right now, I'm halfway through. Suffice to say that I have NEVER counted the time This close before. I find myself counting the seconds, scrutinising each movement of the clock's hand, wishing it would move faster than it is, and ever will be. Rejoicing in each passing day, dreading the coming hour and how the addition of another sunrise will bring me closer to the supposed end.
I sound like such a pessimist.
And I'm supposed to be a teacher.
sorry but I can't help it. Some of the children there are seriously getting on my nerves. People who knows me can safely attest that VERY few people can actually manage to get on my nerves. How ironic that they aren't even half people, YET.
Even the teacher who started the same time as moi resigned last week.
The only thing that gets me through the day is seeing the faces of the rest of the children whose faces light up when they see you. Those sweet ones who hug and refuse to let go. Those cheeky smiles that make you smile even when you're trying your hardest not to.
Wrap that up with a Big Overwhelming sense of responsibility.
I don't wanna be one of those teachers who just don't care.
I wanna be the one who touch lives, who teach out of love, not merely out of duty.
I wanna be the one who love unconditionally.
I wanna be the one they remember.
Am I good enough ?
I have no answer to that.