Friday, July 18, 2008

Nothingness

If I were to be completely honest?

I'm pretty terrified at the moment, with the life I'm living.

Granted, I've been in this situation before many times, and I've always thought I could handle it. But this time, it's different. The worst part about it all is this fear that I'm losing the devil-may-care part of me. The part that laughs a lot, jokes a lot, crap a lot.
The part that is seeping slowly out of me, noticeably.

I find myself hurrying, planning, thinking, doing. Lacking in sleep, rest and leisure.

And it shows. To me, at least The serious part of me is emerging, and with it, less smiles and nonsensical thoughts, less dreams and nothingness.

I'm not so sure whether I like this part of me or not.

And that's equally, if not more terrifying.

4 comments:

-feli- said...

u know what simmei...
i'm really sorry to hear that...
guess we got too caught up trying or wanting to do things that we forgot the 'fun' part of life...
and honestly, i think that's how amy felt most of the time, which eventually lead her to quit everything...i'm not asking you to do that but just letting you know that i'm here if you need to do sth crazee!! prett good at it...

Esther said...

ya la. haven't heard from u in ages ady lo! summore my last holiday also never meet up :(

must hang out more with fun ppl then ie ME!!! heheh

buttercup said...

hmmm. perhaps it's time for you to rest a bit. dun hold too many posts ya~

all the best!

MyKy said...

All the same here. Can't sleep and can't eat, too many things to handle..