Wednesday, October 07, 2009

I need some endorphins

I'm never one to wear my heart on me sleeves, me think.

Suck it in, why bother others with some burden of yours that will not aid in any way in what they coping with right now? For all you know, they might be barely surviving themselves.
So I just suck it in and cope, using all the mechanisms available.
Sleep,
relax,
a walk,
inspiration.

It's not working that well anymore.

I'm thinking that I should change my ways.
It's been a pretty rough few weeks; so caught up in so many emotions - sometimes finding it hard to find back the happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care me.
So much so that I feel that I've inadvertently pushed those closest to me away.

I wonder is it because I'm bottling everything up?
Would it be better to just spill whatever I'm feeling at that precise moment?

Anger, to react in anger,
Sadness, to show that emotion in all its glory.

But that's rarely me.
Good thing or a bad thing? I know shit.

....

Sadness.
That's where we diverge.


Different thoughts, expectations.


To go through each minute of the day with the thought of that hour plus moment in the not-to-distant;
A light that somehow help me find a way to survive suckiness, unhappiness, stress.
With the thought of that moment.
That closeness.


But when the time comes, just so much sadness.
To have it dissipate into nothingness.


It just breaks my heart to pieces.

8 comments:

Esther said...

srly friend. call me anytime. you know i'd want to listen anything about you as much as i want you to listen everything about me!

Esther said...

only if you wanna tell me la. i know i'm just your NORMAL friend :(
lol

Danielle said...

we should go makan together... need to, don't we?

amy-da-great said...

to-esther

Kawan, when are you ever just a NORMAL friend? Haha..

Thanks, really. =) Once I get the hang of letting loose, you bet you're the one who I'll call.

Not ghostbusters. lol.

*kisses and hugs!

to-feli,

Oh man. You have no idea how much we need to makan..
Strawberry fields! heh heh
Oh wait. I just ate like a pig just now at MSK remember? haha

Hao Shen said...

Yes Sim Mei, tell Esther than later she can tell me.

amy-da-great said...

to-hao shen


.......blek.


I haven't kira with you yet..that day came back also senyap senyap only..terrible!!

MyKy said...

Jeepus, apa jadi? Emo semacam je slalu

amy-da-great said...

to-myky

Entahlah kawan.

Macam dah tiba servicing time for the spirit..lol.
Haih..