No woman no cry

My girlfriends and I had this conversation the other day regarding, what else, love, like and what-nots.
And it doesn't help that this particular topic : first love, relationships, kept cropping up in newspapers, TV etc.
Or maybe I'm just overly sensitive.
But anyway, It got me thinking. I'm 20 going on 45 and I've never been in any serious relationships..or any relationship, period. (of course there are family and friends;... you know what I mean)
So, am I missing out on something that might be good? Or should I count my lucky stars that I never had to crack my head and bawl over something like zis?
Of course I would want my first to last, or maybe be the last, but girls just wanna have fun. No? Nah, not that type. I think.
I agree, sometimes I do envy those in healthy relationships but at the same time, it scares me half to death to be so close with someone else.
Someone once told me that I'm unwilling to open up my heart, yeah, for you to stuff a knife in?!
I don't know, the opportunities that came along throughout my 20 years of life are either
-wrong timing
-wrong person
-bad chemistry
And it's not like I'm Miss Universe. Don't jual mahal ! Tsk Tsk..
And most of the time, or rather all of the time, I hid behind this humongous sturdy rock of 'studies first'. I ain't saying that's not good though, Studies should, in fact come first.
But I'm good .
I'm my own person.
I have me. That's all I need !