Crumbled

Papa, I love you so.

If anything were to happen to you,

I would die, die, die.
I really would.

There'd be a void in me that will not heal as fast as it expands, into infinite darkness.

That morning happened, and You forced the rest to not tell me.

To keep me in the dark, unknowingly going through life as if nothing freaking happened.

But SHIT.

Papa, there was a chance of me not feeling your arms around me again,
hugging me close.
Of my hand in your warm, calloused hand,
Of you kissing me good night, good bye, good evening and good morning.

If things were to go horribly wrong, I could never see your smile again.
Never see that twinkle, never hear that mischief in your voice.
Oh dear Lord,

I was strong but I choked. I didn't mean to.
The tears flowed when I saw you yesterday.
I couldn't stop shaking and you held me close.
Oh dear Lord
I could feel your warmth.
Thank you.
You wiped my tears dry and you wiped yours too
Saying,
It's alright, it's alright.

It's not alright; I could have lost you forever. I could have, I could have.
If things were different, I could have.

My heart's broken, my spirits shaken and my soul bleeding.
Every time I think of you.

And the tears flow, even now.
Even now.

I can feel you, papa.
You're here.
I need you to hold me again, to reassure me I'm not dreaming.
That You're still here. Still here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you,
Thank You.


* Dad met with an accident on Monday,
he's still here.
That's all that matters.