Shop around for the best bargains -- in life as well as in all things mercantile.

That's my horoscope for today.
Caught my eye just now when I was about to blog.

'Shop around for the best bargains'. How true it rings. Just in case you haven't already known or that you're lucky enough to not have heard my lament, I don't know what to do with my life.
Stop riiight about NOW if you're sick of my whining.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Option 1 : Medicine

Option 2 : Pharmacy

Option 3 : Bio studies

The thing is this, since I was young my ambition has always been to be a doctor. Naive and wanting only to help people, I always confidently answer 'DOCTOR' whenever anyone asked me what I wanna be when I grow up. Now, when I'm about to make the biggest decision of my life thus far, deciding where the rest of my life is going to head, which road I'm going to take, I'm not so sure.
Maybe asking A LOT of people for their opinions ain't such a good idea. All I got was a major headache and endless nights dreaming about this. I did. I thought about it even in my sleep. The 1 good thing about it is that at least I'm finding out the cold hard truth about a doc's life, no matter how bitter it is to swallow ( believe me, at times I wished I'd never known), before making the plunge. I absolutely do not want to think of it ONLY after I'm knee-deep in it. Sinking and sinking into the abyss of muddy waters.

One cousin said : Don't follow the herd mentality. Just because you did well and CAN get into medicine doesn't mean you HAVE to do medicine.

And another said : You can always help others in other ways.

Both of them are practising docs and so they know.

It's true. Just because I am blessed with what I've got, people immediately assume you're doing med. So what you gonna do? Med ar?
Okay, Okay, maybe I was the one who put the idea in their heads anyways.

I wonder whether other students are making as hard a decision to be a doc as I am? It's scary you know. AT least 15-20 years of studying and exams; stressful, frustrating working life, looong hours, life and death decisions. Sacrificing my social life (if i have one, that is ), lepaking and just doing nothing.
They say just follow your heart. As long as you have the passion. Do it if you know you don't mind the hours. Do what you like. Do whatever.

I worry that I may settle for 2nd best or 3rd? and that I'm actually afraid of taking up the challenge. I don't like people furrowing their brows in question Why aren't you doing medicine? Like pitying me or... something. I worry that I may pass up an opportunity of a lifetime. And at the very same time I worry that if I do go on with doing med, and then finding that it IS what they say it is, I might put all the advices people give to me freely and for my own good to waste.
It might be a classic case of I told you so!

SO I can do nothing but sigh.

SIgh.

I sincerely wish that you know what you want. And that you attain all the happiness in the world doing it.

As for me, I take comfort in knowing that my family supports me whichever way I go.

And whichever way I go, I'm gonna do my best.

That much I know for sure.