*sniff

I miss my grandmama's house in Port Klang.
The house my mom, aunts n uncs grew up in.
My aunts used to live there but they shifted out to Bukit Jalil around the end of 2005 and I missed the whole shifting out because of darn STPM.
I didn't get to see the house as it was for decades before all the furniture was removed or disposed of.
I didn't get to lie down on the smooth red cement floor that was polished by years of use one last time.
I didn't get to bathe in the toilet where the tangki to store water was as big as a jacuzzi (where when we were little , we would jump inside and bathe there instead) and where in the middle of the floor is a patch of uneven little stones set in cement used out of convenience to scrub the soles of your feet.
I didn't get to check whether there were actually any rats underneath the bedroom papan flooring that was set so high(virtually 3 steps high) though I suspect there werent' any.
I miss playing hide and seek there, watching saturday afternoon cartoons on TV3 and burying treasures in the flower pots. I missed having overnights there bacause that was the only time my bro and I could stay up WAY late watching tv and wake up WAY late in the morning in time for lunch.
I even miss the old washing machine that used to scare the hell out of me because it would suddenly make funny noises. Loud noises.
But it's bare now.
Only memories left behind.

I gotta go back there sometimes.

I dunno what happened to me ady! I keep stuffing myself silly though I'm already full. Can't resist supper then wake up the next day feeling guilty and resolving to control and yet, you guessed it? stuffed myself again.

My dad knows psychology. He uses it sublimely and extremely well.
Today, after dinner I was complaining that I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Know what he said?
'Don't want to work tomorrow ar? Nvmlo..no need to go, I'll call her up tomorrow..'
Know what I said?
'Nevermind la..I'll go.'

How stoooopid can I be?