Dazed

Spinning heads;

Uncertainties,

Irritability.

When will my old self return?

..............

Sometimes I just want to lie down and cry.
But I can't.

So I end up wandering and wondering, and so very-dazed.

What's the lesson in this?

What?

Exhale.

It was so difficult maintaining my composure in class.
I didn't want to appear shaken, I wanted to be the rock.

The optimistic.

I so badly wanted to look at the bright side of things but I just wanted to be alone in my room.

Alone with my thoughts, the sadness just poured out in bucketloads.
It stopped at intervals, at times when my head took over the reins - filling itself with inspirational sayings, beliefs, thought processes.

And yet when the heart wants to nudge the head over, it could with little resistance.

And the bucketloads start again.

It's hard not to be affected by this. I so badly wanted to do something that would be beneficial, something that I know I can do with my capabilities; something for the betterment of health and science.

Something that I can work on without any purpose other than for the quality and the potential of it.

I wasn't afraid of work. I wasn't looking for the easy one. I wasn't looking for a score-able topic.I just wanted knowledge and the chance to work on something that would utilize ME the most.

But it all boiled down to shitty luck.
The last I checked, I was wearing red underwear.
It freaking didn't work.

I cannot lie, it hurts. It hurts so blardy bad it's hard to remain the sunny me.

I know I can get through this, deep down inside I know that. The sun will rise again, the birds still chirp and everything still runs.

I know that life is what we make of it, and that I will make the most of the situation.

But at this blardy moment. It.hurts.

And then it was Fourth

And so I'm back in University of Malaya.

So nice of the college admin; they gave me me old room back! Awesomeness.

And so classes will start tomorrow and along with it, endless assignments, discussions and fried brain cells.

Lack of sleep will soon follow and breathing becomes something to be reminded about.

This time it's different though. This time I'm a final year student. Old as old can be. In a year's time, I'll be embarking on a new phase of life, a new chapter, a new everything.

So here's to an amazing Final Year; memories, lessons and laughs.

Ahhh...Chooo. Excuse-moi

Donkey betul..

Thought can enjoy to the maximum the last few days of holidays but kena quarantined pulak.
It's a choice I made; social responsibility man! lol.
I even stayed home two nights in a row while parents went out.

But should be okay I guess. I am monitoring my temperature religiously and so far no fever nor any symptoms of flu.
Out of social obligation, went to report myself to the hospital today but they will only test those with symptoms.
The person in charge said I don't even have to self-quarantine. -____- Adipavi!

Wanted to check into my hostel since I was already in KL but they will only check in medical students from Klang.
wahlao.

I'm also from Klang wat.

Oh well, at least I could bring mom to breakfast and spend some quality time.

Latent period of H1N1 is about 4 days which makes today the 4th day since my last contact with a patient.
So far feeling fine.
So yes, I will want to meet people tomorrow. Contact-Deprived!

"Nah. Drink this, the chinese medical hall fella say this herb is good for H1N1 one"

Wah. Got such thing one ar. Trust the sinseh for a cure for anything!
Sigh. Also have to drink la.

No worries, peeps!=) I'll just use the extra holidays to laze some more. lol.

Cheerios!