Crumbled

Papa, I love you so.

If anything were to happen to you,

I would die, die, die.
I really would.

There'd be a void in me that will not heal as fast as it expands, into infinite darkness.

That morning happened, and You forced the rest to not tell me.

To keep me in the dark, unknowingly going through life as if nothing freaking happened.

But SHIT.

Papa, there was a chance of me not feeling your arms around me again,
hugging me close.
Of my hand in your warm, calloused hand,
Of you kissing me good night, good bye, good evening and good morning.

If things were to go horribly wrong, I could never see your smile again.
Never see that twinkle, never hear that mischief in your voice.
Oh dear Lord,

I was strong but I choked. I didn't mean to.
The tears flowed when I saw you yesterday.
I couldn't stop shaking and you held me close.
Oh dear Lord
I could feel your warmth.
Thank you.
You wiped my tears dry and you wiped yours too
Saying,
It's alright, it's alright.

It's not alright; I could have lost you forever. I could have, I could have.
If things were different, I could have.

My heart's broken, my spirits shaken and my soul bleeding.
Every time I think of you.

And the tears flow, even now.
Even now.

I can feel you, papa.
You're here.
I need you to hold me again, to reassure me I'm not dreaming.
That You're still here. Still here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you,
Thank You.


* Dad met with an accident on Monday,
he's still here.
That's all that matters.

Breathes

It felt like forever since I've updated. Wait, it IS so.

Gosh. Where to start?

Global Youth Symposium '08 has come and gone. It was one heck of an experience, working with a group of young, vibrant people; hosting another group of young, vibrant people from all over the world!

So what would you get, putting them both together?
A freaking rainbow, that's what.
Beautiful, awe-inspiring and with a pot of gold at the end if it.
Run, run towards that pot!

Of course I screwed up my tests which came immediately after that exhausting week.
Heh. Oh well.
I screw my tests up now, too anyway.

What else?
I had the pleasure of making a new friend, a person who inspired me in so many ways. Her name's Chihiro, who came to Malaysia from Japan as an intern for Agathians Shelter, an orphanage under this project I'm in called Young Visionaries.
A project that I probably will not take up, if not for the chance of working on something I'm passionate about, with someone who thinks so much like me, i.e. think too much; that sometimes it's scary.

Chihiro's only 19 but she has accomplished so much and just puts in so much heart into whatever she does.
To come to Malaysia, on her own, to work in a shelter for 2 months? A new country, a new environment, with so much of the unknown?
I'm not sure whether I have her guts. Nor her vision.

She's helped me believe once more in the path that I'm walking on.
Helped me realize that the effort was all worth it.
That what I believe in, in Young Visionaries is real and palpable.
That in small ways, we can make a difference.

We went to Malacca together, 3 of us, Feli (the other half of Young Visionaries), Chihiro and moi as a sort of farewell trip before Chihiro left for Japan. It was cool in that we were carefree and we stayed at this sort of backpackers inn which was a steal-RM 13 for a night!? Blardy cheap.
It ended with a bang and a heart attack because we missed the bus home, which scared us shitless because her flight was that night itself.
How in the hell are we gonna come up with thousands of dollars for a new flight ticket home if there's no other buses?!ShitShitShiiiit!

But it ended well, there was another bus.
Having to pay for a new bus ticket sure beats having to pay for a flight ticket.

We are so going to miss her a lot.
(Feli, Chihiro, Moi)
Thanks Chihiro, for your company, your presence, your spirit.

Hmm..what else?

Trooped to USM, Penang for a MyPSA (M'sian Pharmacy Students' Assoc.) meeting which was so, so much fun.
We created a new group too....drumrolls....
SiaoPSA*!
And guess who's the President of that group?
Heh.

Recently attended an interview to be a facilitator for camp, aptly named 'SuperCamp' for kids and teenagers, by recommendation of a friend. If it works out well, I'll be away for about 2 weeks in December, to a place in Perak.
It'll be quite an experience, as facilitators from US will be coming in as well. The icing on the cake? I get paid for it. Wah liu..damn shiok.

And...

There's one other thing that's been happening too.
But that can wait, for another day.
Skippity-skip.


Oh yeah,
Can you believe that I have another 2 weeks left till the end of the semester?
which means one thing, that exams next month and
That I've almost completed 5/8 semesters.

Believe it, baby.




*Siao = Mad

Leave no stone unturned

I weep for the Penan people.

My heart bleeds for the lack of humanity.

Our own backyard?!

I'm afraid to hope but dear God,

please, please let Justice Prevail.