Tuesday, October 23, 2007

muaks

currently addicted to this




The campus beckons and yours truly is going to be MIA for about a month.

I shall emerge from the battle stronger than ever before, with my sanity intact.

And a bit thinner too, hopefully.

Gonna miss all of you, gonna miss you, bloggie, gonna miss you TV.

But like how Arnie used to say,

"I'll be BAK ! "

*smooch smooch hug hug *

closure? release?
hmm.

happy for you.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Calm

They said that places of worship have this aura about them that pulls you into a vortex of calmness.
Actually KW said that.

But its true; I went to the Brickfields Buddhist Temple today and for some reason I feel a lot better. Pouring my heart out to a higher being does work, I guess. A little blessing didn't hurt either.
Pledged to be a better human being as well, but you don't have to know all that.
Oops.

And of course, with my family being the Chuah family, once we're out of the house we're OUT of the house. Lunch was at SUBWAY, S.Pyramid ( LW : Yeap! It's inching closer to home now!) upon my mom's request who is now a sandwich convert and a SUBWAY Groupie. What was supposed to only be a lunch outing, turned into a lepak session with some attempt of shopping thrown into the fray.
Tried some organic-super healthy-low calories-low cholesterol-soy ice-cream which was *ahem different, but nice after a few mouthfuls.

Okay. I have to admit it, I am grateful that my family gives me my space and never forces me-god forbid-to sit at the table 24-7.
It's good that they keep me sane by being the fun-loving people that they are. Of course, sometimes it gets a lil' bit out of hand but the little things that they do, forcing me out for dinner after being at home studying-eventhough they have to drag me out screaming "I donwannago! Ta Pau for me! Ta Pau!TAAA PAUUU!"
Wait, that never happens.
Usually I only need a minute amount of persuasion before I grab my phone and slip into my slippers.

words of encouragement, pecks on the head(Yeah, my dad still gives me pecks on the head-still very much the princess)
and silly jokes;

Dad (pointing at the telly ) : Eh, see whether your name's on TV or not!
Mom (excited) : What? Really? Where? .... Wait..What list is that?
Dad : The central committee members of the Communist Party.

me laughing in the background.

Brother was buying some creampuffs amounting to RM9.30
Dad (handing over money to mom, to be passed to bro.) : Nah
Mom(looking at the 2 keping of coins handed over to her) : Hah? So little ar?
Dad : Yeah, there got 30 cents what.

me laughing in the background.

Mom : What were you two doing in the toilet la? Why so long one?
Bro : We were playing with the high tech hand dryer.
Dad : Not only that, the toilet's so high tech, you don't have to do anything there's this pipe that attaches to *ahem* which sucks your urine out.
Mom : HA. HA.

me laughing in the background.

Dad-the fervent advocate of the Mandarin language : Eh, want to go learn Mandarin ar?
Mom : Bu Yao.

me laughing in the background.


still make my day.

It's times like these that I thank my stars.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Donkey

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I should be studying!

Crap...someone give me a swift kick in the ass.

I've been

-sleeping too much for my own good; more than what I usually need

-going out too often

-watching too much TV

and you know what's the worst part?

I don't mind NOT studying eventhough I know there's so much to cover I can just break down and cry right now in front of you.
But I know I won't.

The saddest part about all this is that I'm losing grip of my old self; the old me doesn't care what her results are gonna be like as long as she does her best. Now, I find myself constantly worrying about my results and succumbing to the pressure of being on the dean's list.
Shit la.
It's just a freaking LIST!

You see? I KNOW that, but it's just not getting into my head. How I wish I've never heard of such a thing as a dean's list, CGPA and all that. I'm doing my degree for goodness sake; I should not be in this mad chase for excellent, perfect results.
Being in a university shouldn't be like this!
Or have I been living in a lie, believing in something that doesn't exist? Are we that kiasu,
or

am I that kiasu?

shudders.

What have I morphed into?

I want my old self back!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Selaaamat Haaarii Raaaayaa!

Note to self :

You better start tomorrow.
That would be enough rest..
for now.

It has been a whirlwind Hari Raya holidays. We're Malaysian anyway, we celebrate everything together.
We live for public holidays. *nudge nudge wink wink*

Thursday was the day I got involved in the seedy world of human trafficking.
Made Kin Wai as envious as a green-eyed monster with the bitter taste of sour grapes in his mouth, showing him around UM.
Being a self-proclaimed food connoisseur, took him to a superb place to eat.
Thanks for the surprise, really.

Friday was a blur; haven't woken up that late in a long, long time. My relatives came down from Penang and that was that.
My weekend was filled with food, and drinks, walks, malls, shopping.

Scones, shortbreads, tea and irish coffee with whipped cream.
Guiness Stout chicken wings and Kajang sate in the midst.

The kids were so adorable I just didn't want to let them go. Especially the little one, who had saliva perpetually dribbling onto whatever.
God I'm gonna miss them.

Caught up with friends too; Choon Yen, Esther + co. ; Pauline, Yi Jiang + co.
Had such a blast making Jiang do mad but hilarious birthday rituals.
"Can one lar!"
"Cannot leh!" Face inched closer to the cake. "Cannot lar! " and closer. " Woi. CANNOT!"

In unison : "CAN!"

Since it is technically, a break; I rummaged through my 'to read' pile and noticed some titles that I didn't know I owned.
Started on Heart Songs & Other Stories by E.Annie Proulx
and The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank.

I'm halfway through both, but I have to say that the latter is written especially for me, man.

I don't wish to be so narcissistic but the resemblance to my life is uncanny.
No. 1 : The title itself; ..Girls' Guide.. - I was, and still am a girl guide!

No. 2 : The heroine has an elder brother - so do I

No. 3 : The book has reference to the classic, The Great Gatsby - which I happen to own and read, earlier.

No. 4 : The heroine has a fascination with words, and grew up to be an editor - I don't mind words; just not those that come in the form of lecture notes.

No. 5 : She got involved with a much older man - I wouldn't be all that surprised if I were to, too. Ahem. I'm a closet romantic, if you haven't already known.

How can you not fall in love with a passage like

"While Mother hostessed and Girlfriend guested, Younger Sister stood up. When there was a pause in their nicing, I made my mouth move smileward : I'd love to stay and talk, but I have to go shoot some heroin now."

'Nuff said.

Let's just hope the other half of the book is just as juicy.

God.
I so need to start studying tomorrow.
Somebody slap me if I don't.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

I cut my hair!

Me : I'm thinking of piercing my nose...i think it's quite..

Mom : What?! NO.

Me : ...nice..but..

Mom : You'll spoil the feng shui of your face.


Riiight.


And oh, if you need a good cry, you should watch Adoption Stories over at Discovery Home & Health .

God. I just couldn't stop bawling.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Mary, mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"I'm growing into my skin"

I've been doing much growing, or rather, think that I am, these past few years. Whenever a lightbulb goes 'ting!' in my head, I was pretty sure, at that time that I grew just a couple of inches closer.
But how do I know for sure that that 'true' skin would not remain forever elusive, always beyond reach?
Leaving me tergapai-gapai in the middle of an ocean?
Ah but who ever said life is about the destination and not the journey?
If ever I've reached my destination, it would be located 6 feet underground;
Hopefully, after all my organs that are of use had been taken out for those who need it, that is.

But before I reach that inevitable stage, I think I just wanna enjoy the ride a little.
Feel a little of everything, taste a little of some, take in a lot of all.

What say you,
wanna join me?